The Reflection of the Interview to a Couple about Child Rearing

No one will deny that the family education is extremely significance to the growth of a child in the long run of life. Parents are the very first teacher of their children that will influence and motivate them to become a good person or not. I interviewed a couple who have a lovely boy to be reared and reflect and analyze the details information that could be the worthy knowledge to other parents. The couple named Jessica and Jack, are both in higher education at the age of thirty that graduated from a well-known university. They got married after two years of departing their college and employed by potential companies. Another college employed Jessica as a language teacher, and an international communication company employed Jack as an engineer. Their boy is at the age of seven years old this year. It is safe to say that they have a profound income and higher social status. Hence, they put a strict emphasis on the education of their boy and made comprehensively preparation from the pregnancy period to the rearing period. In the conversation with them, we were talking and questing a significant question that what is the most important value and idea for parents to convey to their children and how to convey. Obviously, choose a correct pattern, to do what they say and promise to a child and to believe and encourage their children are the effective and meaningful methods to children.

First and foremost, in the process of child rearing, the father does play a significant role in teaching and regulating child. I proposed a series of questions to them especially for the father about the period of birthing and the infant time. These questions are what do you remember about this time, how you felt about this period, what was important to you and some details about the period of birthing. From the answers of Jessica, I received the most obvious information is happiness and full of hope. On one hand, her husband always stays by her side during the period of pregnancy and birthing and completes the antenatal training together. The feeling of women in pregnancy, Jessica told me, is anxiety and desperate. They need the care and understanding of their husband. “Psychological research across families from all ethnic backgrounds suggests that fathers' affection and increased family involvement help promote children's social and emotional development.” (The Changing Role of the Modern Day Father) Jack put his attention on the company to her wife at that time and preparation in educating their baby in pregnancy period. The love of a father to the mother could be conveyed to the baby through the influence of the feeling of mother to baby.

On the other hand, after giving birth to their boy, the age of zero to the age of three, the burden of taking care of the baby does not only fall to the mother. Jack take most of the responsibility of companying his boy that observing his action, regulating his habit and some of the housework when he is on holiday. Hence, Jessica did not feel desperate and hopeless during that time. From the experience of them, it is obviously that the pattern of the family of them is share. There are two different attitudes of rearing patterns are emerged: female dominated in family pattern and male involved in the family pattern. The different patterns of the family will play an important role in the growing of child. The child will be more responsible in the family of involved male family. From the story of Jessica and Jack, we could know that the pattern of them is male involved. Jack not only provides the basic necessity to the family but also take part in the work of rearing child and housework. This pattern could provide the meaning of responsibility to their boy, and the style of the father is different from it of the mother. Father could convey the manliness idea and value to their children. Hence, the action instead of preaching is the best way to shape the child. The character of their boy is complete because he receive different characteristics of personality from his mother and father.

Moreover, with the growing of their boy, the forms and the goals of family education will be changed. The method of them to shape the correct value of their boy is company and guiding. I asked some questions about the period of three years old to six years old of their boy. For example, what do you value this period in the life of your child, what kind of person do you want your child to become and what personality are significant for your child in this period? Jack told me that, in his opinion, the period of the age of three to six is the most important time for a child that it is the habit cultivating period. He thought that the personality of honest, confidence, positive are the crucial personality of a child in this period. Besides, he told me that they do not want their child to be rich because health and happiness are much more expensive than money.

Jessica then told me that her feeling during that time could be described as the co-existing of pressure and exciting. The pressure comes from her work that she is willing to pursue her dream and earn more money to support her family. However, the exciting comes from her husband and her boy that they create a hopeful family environment for her. Her husband puts all his time, expect his working time, into his family and company his boy. Besides, the origin of the happiness of their family total comes from the change and the growth of their boy. In this early childhood period, a child could develop the sense of ego which means he is willing to do things by his efforts. The intelligent of the child will be developed in this period which will influence his further lifetime. Jessica and her husband told me that they did not push their boy to do the things he did not want to do for example playing the piano. Instead, their boy is fond of painting and formulating the card to a complete thing. Their boy could fit into the environment of the kindergarten and is willing to make friends with others. They buy a lot of toys like that. “The father had strong authority over his children’s lives. They got to decide what their child’s occupation was to be and whom they would marry. In other words, the father took decisions for the benefit of their children’s future.” (The Role of the Father in the Family) The most important thing is they fulfill a work with their boy and help him to discover new things. Hence, according to the example of a couple of Jessica and Jack, the company and guiding are the most important factors for a child in the period of early childhood.

Last but not least, it is obviously to me that the interview influences and teaches me a lot in the question of child rearing and the sort of thing of selecting a mate and managing a family. First, the family pattern of Jessica and Jack is meaningful and worthy to be learned by another family. The reason of they are willing to choose the pattern of the involved male family is because they have been received higher education and Jessica plays a significant role in her work. Hence, the time they spend on family and work will be averaged. Besides, they know the importance of a father in the growth of child that the ways of a father to solving problems are different from the mother. Second, according to the story of Jessica and Jack, I think the function of education should be listed in the first place when selecting a mate. Because the issue of selecting mate will influence the other important issues such as a rear child, lifestyle and the quality of the life for the rest of time. Especially, the relationship between father and mother is influential to their children. Third, the sense of average is one of the best methods for managing a family. The role of the father is crucial to the child. The balance of the division of the labor in the family decides the character of the personality of the child.

To sum up. According to the interview of the couple, Jessica and Jack, the meaning of the sense of family is put in the crucial place. The methods of them to teach and influence their boy are through the shape and build a better figure of parent and a sounder family environment. “The best way to encourage truthfulness in your child is to be a truthful person yourself. Your child takes his cues from you, so it's important that you try to avoid any deception, even a seemingly innocuous one.” (Parents Magazine) The baby is just like an empty paper when he or she is born. Their parents are the painters to shape and change the difference of the paper. Some parents can establish a sound and relax family environment and encourage their children to do what they prefer. While, another parent could not notice the influence of them on their child. They always complain to their child that they do not listen to them and could not obtain success. The result of their child determined by the parent. The best to convey the correct value and ideas is to become a parent that to do what they say and take part in every period of the growth of their child.